Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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