In the future we'll all be gay
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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