i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
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