just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
