your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
