i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
