I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
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