Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
