We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
