I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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