i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
