Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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