I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I didn't notice because vodka
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
