i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
