On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
we made out on top of his cat.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
