He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I am one with the molecules
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
