yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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