Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Randomize
