I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
it's like iHOP with fire
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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