I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
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i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
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That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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