I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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