just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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