Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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