..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
