She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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