i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
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