Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize