ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.