Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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