Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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