dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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