you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
She bit a glass in half.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
