it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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