If that was your dad, he is hot
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
