I got chris browned last night
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
