I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Randomize
