All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
