normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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