Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I have already put on my inside pants.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
