We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
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He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
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We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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