those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
