life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Randomize
