Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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