I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
