ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
