STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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