i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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