he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
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