every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
