tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
