I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
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