Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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