I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
