Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize