I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
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