i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
