Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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