checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize